This Is the Rhythm of My Life

Where was I two years ago? Six hours away (roughly) and a million miles away (roughly). Someplace hot and humid and tropical. That was a different life.

Where was I a year ago? Well I can't really say for sure, but I'm pretty confident I was working. I was in a work coma. For a year. That was a different life.

This year? Unlike any other year or life.

I can say that I have never been faster or stronger. Sometimes it catches me off guard, like during yoga class when our teacher tells us to move from a three legged plank through three-legged chaturanga. Like when I realize I'm getting a little bit closer to Eight-Angle Pose. And definitely when the November Project workout is to sprint (no biggie) with a human being on my back (very much a biggie). The practices of running, yoga, and strength work are integral to my identity and to my daily life and having the chance to do these things is awesome and humbling all at once. These things fulfill me, challenge me, and always, irrefutably, undeniably, without fail, propel me on.

What I look forward to are the adventures and the opportunities to expand on these changes and to do more... to go to the Wanderlust Festival, to run Bay to Breakers and to run the SeaWheeze Half Marathon again, and to travel to all of those heart-stopping, heart-breaking places. I realized a few years ago what it is like to travel to run. Last August, SeaWheeze brought together running, travel, and yoga in a very radical way. So, these days are in part a preparation for travel and for experiences to come.

What else is happening these days? I am looking here for the right words to describe my professional ambitions. Ambitions, yes. Ambitions they are, because I have never and will never lack motivation and self-discipline.  I will say this: I am doing the hard work now and I am putting myself through the paces now, today, tomorrow so that, in six months or a year or two, I can say that I myself lay the foundation. I am laying the foundation for what I know I will achieve.

And I can turn around and use almost the same words to describe relationships. Let's lay the foundation. Let's get together and let's get excited, get positive, passionate, constructive. Let's help each other and let's grow, and if it's not a two-way street... well, then get out of my street.

I am interested in deeply transformational experiences, relationships, friendships, challenges, and  opportunities. Let's have some fun, let's get a lot done, let's do epic shit, let's do it all. Eyes on the prize y'all, and the prize is this year.

P.S. Where's the title from? The Corona classic. Rhythm of the night, rhythm of my life.

My Favorite Four Letter Word: Goal

At New Year's, I always ask my friends if they're setting resolutions. Some say yes, some say no. Some decide that the year is going to be all about one thing. And then they ask me in return. I say no.

I set goals. I am all about goals.

I used to set super specific goals. I would set goals for a month, for six months, for a year out. I've looked back at what I wrote in 2012. It's not an embarrassing "Dear Diary" situation. But there is a pattern.

I was setting goals to fix or remediate existing situations. They were still goals and that's great because they gave me something to reach for and they gave me measurable ways to get there.

But where were they going to get me? I'm not really sure. And were they going to get me somewhere that I wanted to be? I don't really think so.

I've been thinking, writing, and talking about goals a lot recently. I feel like I'm tweaking my goals a bit everyday. If you've ever been to a ballet or yoga class, the instructor will come around and make adjustments to your form. More often than not, I really like it. I like alignment and I like extending a pose more deeply. That's what my thought process is like these days. A little tweak, a little adjustment, a little extension.

And what I am tweaking and adjusting? My idea of my best life possible and my goals, but only as they pertain to that idea. What I want and need to do today, tomorrow, next week, next month matters a lot more and makes a lot more sense when I know where I want to get to.

And once you've figured out what your best life looks like? Folks, there is no backing down from that. It won't look like anyone else's best life and it makes today's decisions real easy.

But I guess the tricky part of all this goal stuff is that, if you're constantly working towards a goal or a vision, then you feel like you're striving. And if you feel like you're striving, you may miss out. You may miss out on the present. I'm definitely guilty of this. Definitely.

And there is so much beauty in the present. Last Saturday, JJ and I walked all over the place. We bought strawberries and potatoes at Haymarket and jeans on Newbury Street.

We shared a bagel at Pavement (and it was a very tasty bagel) and, when we wanted a treat, we went to the Cookie Monstah truck, parked at the Public Library. We turned around and JJ recognized the people behind us in line. She had met them during her honeymoon in Thailand. That's what I call serendipity.

We walked down Boylston with our ice cream and then I saw these giant letters leaning against the Public Garden fence. J-O-Y. Just hanging out. So casual. And I don't know who Joy belonged to or why Joy was there, but no one seemed to notice it. I couldn't believe it. We had stumbled upon it, but everyone else was walking straight past it.

There is no goal or plan that can get you to Joy.

So I plan on walking that very fine line. I will keep on setting goals and refining my idea of what a good life is. And when joy pops up in front of me? Well, I hope that I will always stop and tug on my friend's sleeve and point it out and smile about it. And then take silly photos.

What 2012 brought to me

Incredible opportunities. Fascinating, kind, accomplished, hilarious, smart people and new friends (There aren't enough adjectives in the world to describe these people). Exposure to the kinds of people and opportunities that help me to define the kind of person that I want to be and that challenge me to become that person. Moments when I had an out-of-body experience, looked around, and literally could not believe my good luck. 

Growing pains. Hard lessons learned. Too much loss. Reminders that I can stay the course, both for myself and for those in my life.

A dance-off (I won). A scar on my hip from a freak Frisbee accident. Four passport stamps. Three broken pairs of aviator sunglasses (This is why I can't have nice things). Long road trips and short weekends away. Puppy fever... in a bad way. Two weddings, two purple dresses. A phenomenal tan from summer days at Revere Beach. Two five mile races and one half marathon... and two personal records. One short (very short!) dress for New Year's Eve.

How will I close out 2012? By working and playing and (always) running. By living and celebrating with those I love best. With absolutely no fear and with total authenticity. With great gratitude for this year and great hope for the next.

So, let's dance the rest of 2012 out and usher 2013 in. I'll be dancing to this.