I was born without certain genes. I can't whistle or snap my fingers. I can't fold clothes nicely.
I can't frost cupcakes. I can make cupcakes. I can make frosting. But I can't frost cupcakes.
I'm trying to pipe chilled chocolate ganache -- made only with 60% dark chocolate and heavy cream -- onto chocolate cupcakes and it's just going everywhere. I've googled "how to make a pastry bag out of parchment paper" and I go through about half of a roll.
I give up. I forgo traditional swirls and go for abstraction. I push my finger through the pastry tip to see what comes out. Kind of like throwing paint across a canvas.
The result? My cupcakes have uneven (sometimes spiky...) halos of frosting.
There's icing on the refrigerator, on the salt and pepper shakers, on the floor, on me. I picked the wrong day to wear khakis. Tomorrow is laundry day, for sure.
And then I had a side of cupcake with my icing. For dinner.